You and your former spouse finalized your divorce in North Carolina several years ago, and you have refined the details of your child custody agreement. Recently, your child shared the news that she or he wants to live with the other parent.

To make future conversations easier, Verywell Family offers a few guidelines on how to handle learning your child no longer wants to mainly reside with you. What you say and how you act are essential to preserving your relationship with your son or daughter.

 Think before you speak

One of the most important steps someone in your position should take is to remain open to your child’s perspective. Remember, this is more about your child and less about how the news makes you feel. Ask your child why she or he wants to live with the other parent in the first place, and try not to take the answer personally. Instead, look at the situation through your child’s eyes and perspective.

Engage the other parent

Your son or daughter may or may not have brought these desires to the other parent’s attention. Either way, the three of you need to sit down and have a conversation together, and you and the other parent need to have a discussion about it with just the two of you.

Give yourself time to think

While this is more about your child, the situation still impacts you. Have an honest heart-to-heart with yourself about how a change of residence impacts everyone involved. It could turn out to be the best for your daughter or son, which is likely what you care about most.

This information is only intended to educate and should not be interpreted as legal advice.